Not Feelin' It.

Hey. Don't really feel like blogging, buuuuttt.. Why not?
Just thought I'd say I love my friends.
And going through loosing Jamison this week, made me realize
who my TRUE friends really are. < 3
Love you guys.

Who Are You When I'm Not Lookin?

Just felt like uploadin' a few pictures. :)

My Heart is Tearing at the Seams;

This is a poem I wrote last year that I am in love with; < 3
My Heart is Tearing at the Seams
the way you make me feel
give me goosebumps all around
and everytime i hear your voice
you're the only sound

when i close my eyes at night
and know that you're not there
i realize how much i love you
and you don't even care

i know that i'm crazy about you
every time you smile
and when you hold me in your arms
i want to stay a while

but every time i see you
hanging with your friends
you ignore me as if i wasn't there
i want it to come to an end

i'm starting to feel invisible
my love for you is strong
and when i turn on the radio
i think deeply of "our song"

you say that you 'love me too'
but you never say a word
i want to feel like more than
just a little tiny bird

when i'm asleep at night
you're always in my dreams
but you don't know how i feel
my heart is tearing at the seams

<3

I still completely feel this way.
I just wish you'd realize how much you truly
mean to me; I'm loosing you more and more each
day, and that makes me cry...
Please don't let what we have slip away |:

Goodnight. < / 3

Sincerely,
Maddie

New Year Resolutions?

WOW. I dont think I have updated my blog in a lonnngg time, if I did, I don't remember what I said.
Haha.
It's a new year, and the term is almost over... Great.
I'm not too happy with that because my grades are currently... Blah.
I had drama with some of my friends, and I was so stressed out by it that it caused me to focus more on that, then on what was really important; aka my grades/school.
This new year is going to be me focusing on my grades.
I have tried EVERY year to be a straight A student, and I know that will probably never happen. But my goal for this year is to get above a C average. Straight B's would be just fine for me! And I'm sure it would please my parents more.

So here is my list:
a- Get above a C average in grades; I need to focus more on school, that is for sure.
b- No.More.Drama; I promise if there is any drama, I want straight out of it. I am not going to try and start drama, as much as possible. I just want to avoid drama all around;
c- Be myself; I struggle with being myself and sticking up for myself, I have probably no confidence in myself. I don't necessarily believe in myself, and believe that I can do things. I think if I start sticking up for myself, and stop being someone I'm not, then that will improve resolution a, and even b.
d- Little to none missing assignments; that's what brings me down the hardest in my grades, those dang missing assignments. So I'm going to work on those amap (as much as possible)
e- Be more organized; My room, and my locker mostly. My locker is a MESSSSS... It's a disaster, and I pretty much just throw my binders in there and call it good. Annnnd I usually end up loosing some assignments at the bottom of this big pile of binders and books. Joy.
f- Be more generous and selfless; Not really a description for this one, it says it all.

Well, It is 10:45 and I should probably go to bed because I have school tomorrow, and although I'm not looking forward to it, I have missed my girls, and my best friend, so that's a bonus. :)
Goodnight<3