Not Feelin' It.

Hey. Don't really feel like blogging, buuuuttt.. Why not?
Just thought I'd say I love my friends.
And going through loosing Jamison this week, made me realize
who my TRUE friends really are. < 3
Love you guys.

Who Are You When I'm Not Lookin?

Just felt like uploadin' a few pictures. :)

My Heart is Tearing at the Seams;

This is a poem I wrote last year that I am in love with; < 3
My Heart is Tearing at the Seams
the way you make me feel
give me goosebumps all around
and everytime i hear your voice
you're the only sound

when i close my eyes at night
and know that you're not there
i realize how much i love you
and you don't even care

i know that i'm crazy about you
every time you smile
and when you hold me in your arms
i want to stay a while

but every time i see you
hanging with your friends
you ignore me as if i wasn't there
i want it to come to an end

i'm starting to feel invisible
my love for you is strong
and when i turn on the radio
i think deeply of "our song"

you say that you 'love me too'
but you never say a word
i want to feel like more than
just a little tiny bird

when i'm asleep at night
you're always in my dreams
but you don't know how i feel
my heart is tearing at the seams

<3

I still completely feel this way.
I just wish you'd realize how much you truly
mean to me; I'm loosing you more and more each
day, and that makes me cry...
Please don't let what we have slip away |:

Goodnight. < / 3

Sincerely,
Maddie

New Year Resolutions?

WOW. I dont think I have updated my blog in a lonnngg time, if I did, I don't remember what I said.
Haha.
It's a new year, and the term is almost over... Great.
I'm not too happy with that because my grades are currently... Blah.
I had drama with some of my friends, and I was so stressed out by it that it caused me to focus more on that, then on what was really important; aka my grades/school.
This new year is going to be me focusing on my grades.
I have tried EVERY year to be a straight A student, and I know that will probably never happen. But my goal for this year is to get above a C average. Straight B's would be just fine for me! And I'm sure it would please my parents more.

So here is my list:
a- Get above a C average in grades; I need to focus more on school, that is for sure.
b- No.More.Drama; I promise if there is any drama, I want straight out of it. I am not going to try and start drama, as much as possible. I just want to avoid drama all around;
c- Be myself; I struggle with being myself and sticking up for myself, I have probably no confidence in myself. I don't necessarily believe in myself, and believe that I can do things. I think if I start sticking up for myself, and stop being someone I'm not, then that will improve resolution a, and even b.
d- Little to none missing assignments; that's what brings me down the hardest in my grades, those dang missing assignments. So I'm going to work on those amap (as much as possible)
e- Be more organized; My room, and my locker mostly. My locker is a MESSSSS... It's a disaster, and I pretty much just throw my binders in there and call it good. Annnnd I usually end up loosing some assignments at the bottom of this big pile of binders and books. Joy.
f- Be more generous and selfless; Not really a description for this one, it says it all.

Well, It is 10:45 and I should probably go to bed because I have school tomorrow, and although I'm not looking forward to it, I have missed my girls, and my best friend, so that's a bonus. :)
Goodnight<3

Pumpkin Pies and Egg Nog

Holaaa Como es tas? (: Baha.
It's been a long time.
November is my favorite time of the year, fall leaves are gorgeous, pumpkin pie is delicious and egg nog... is DIVINE. (: Mmm. SO, anyway.
Hooray, my blog is not pepto bismol pink anymore! (:
Nothing new in my life really.
Abbie came last Wednesday for Rory's game at BYU.
He plays for BYU Hawaii, and they played against BYU.
It was a pretty intense game..
They lost, but Ror played a really good game!
He's pretty amazing. I wish he could've stayed longer, but it was nice
to see them after 6 months! :)

Pink?

I dont even know why my blog is pink. I hate pinkk...
Hmph, well it took way to much effort to upload that divider thing, so i'm just gonna have a pink theme from now on! YES.
FRESHMANN!
Woohoo. I'm a ninth grader, now. How exciting...
It's not all it's cracked up to be ;)
I still feel like i'm in 8th grade.
The first 2 weeks of school, have beenn... interesting. Not the best.
I like school, but the only class i hate, is lunch. Not only is the food disgusting, I don't have it with any of my close friends...
I hope I can make really good friends with people that have my lunch...

It's So Fluffy I'm Gonna Die!

Me, Haley and Shalise went and saw Despicable Me on Saturday, and I had already seen it, but it's just so dang cute. I love Agnus, she's my favorite. :)
I don't have much to say in this post because I wrote like my whole life story in the last one ;)
But I'm proud to report that my dad finally got a job at RC-Willey! I'm so excited, I can't even tell you! <3
If any of you know my dad, you know that he can get along with ANYBODY, and carry on a conversation for hours. So he will make an awesome salesman :)
I love him with all my heart. I'm a daddy's girl, that's for sure. My dad is my hero. He's my Superman, my Spiderman, my Batman, and my Iron Man. :) But he doesn't need a costume, and super special powers to be a super-hero, he just is.